this novella is a work of fiction that was inspired by “The People on the Bus” during my tour through Europe
The People on the Bus
Hi, I’m Page Saddler. For the first time in my life, I’m going on a 14-day bus tour through Eastern Europe. For the life of me, I can’t understand what inspired such a journey. But, it’s happening and it’s happening soon. I have less than a week to get packed and my apartment in order for sitter. Not a real sitter, but I’d like to think of her as such; it’s my sister Madeline or Maddie was we call her.
Maddie and I are less than 2 years apart but we’re quite opposite. She’s modelesque and gorgeous. Her presence is like an amazon goddess. She’s naturally tanned, a stunning view of perfection. She has waist length chestnut tresses and piercing hazel eyes. I, on the other had, I’m white. Just plain ole regular, average built with a hint of frump white. Well, Granny calls me porcelain to make me feel better but I know she thinks I’m boring white too. In the summer, I get a hint or two of freckles on my body and with squeezes of organic lemon in my hair, it turns fiery copper. However, at the end of the day, I’m Page, plain ole white Page. My big personality and my streak of rebel makes up for my average appearance though. I’m a lively little fire cracker; life of the party even. Sometimes, even that gets old, almost boring. It’s time to change my existence. I guess that’s what’s led me to this 14 day bus tour through Eastern Europe.
My almost spontaneous trek should be an adventure as long as there aren’t loads of seniors or whack jobs. Eh, seniors I can handle but whack jobs, um, I don’t know. Vacationing seniors are quite hilarious. I can spot them, as well as snow birds, a mile away when they frolic through West Palm Beach. Their fanny packs and visors proceed them as well as the drowning aroma of Old Spice. Why do old guys love the burning death smell of Old Spice so? Do they not understand how the rest of the living are smothered in their awkward perception of aromatic greatness? I think there should be a seminar or something seniors should have to take to alert them to changes in fragrance fashions. What old guys and Old Spice do to others is just sinful I tell you. Let’s just say a prayer and burn a sage stick for no damn Old Spice on the tour.
Nicole, the colleague who told me about the tour company, said that her Christmas tour was pretty well balanced. I’m hoping for the best. I need a damn break from Florida, Ma, Pa, and the dairy store. I mean milk and cheese pay the bills and has sustained our family for decades but come on; how sexy are milk and cheese? Wouldn’t it be awesome if I met my soulmate on the tour? What about two weeks of steamy passion that would make 50 Shades of Grey look like a children’s story? Yes, the latter seems doable. Oh how steamy passionate nights with a hot beau would do me well. He would have abs of steel and the sweetest accent that would whisper to me during our hours of rumps. Eh, wait a minute, who am I fooling. It’s a fricken bus tour for goodness sakes. It will be loaded with Old Spice, retirees, and families. My personality will have to shine again to keep the wheels of the bus tour rolling.